Craziness is like heaven.

I went to the doctor to figure out what my abdominal pains were all about, and as expected, no diagnosis. “Maybe it’s stress,” he says. I think it’s time to look for a new doctor that can actually HELP me. As I got into my car, all bummed out that I had more doctor’s appointments and no real expectations of healing, turns out my car battery died. My car whimpered weakly once when I turned the key, and then completely gave out. I starting thinking, what the eff am I gonna do. I called my bf, called the roomie, called my insurance broker and found out I have no road side assistance… After this and that, my bf and roomie drove out to me and jumped my car back to life, and went to autozone for a new battery. Thank you so much guys…I wouldn’t be here right now, all nicely showered and in front of a computer if it weren’t for you…

Usually my fatal flaw: panic, gets in the way of everything. I fall into panic attacks when I see no solution, even though there are TONS but I get so caught up in the moment and fail to see any positive in the situation. But today, I was more calm…. After I figured out what I was doing, I just sat down in my car seat reading the New Yorker. In an empty parking lot. After no diagnosis. Still with stomach pains. But you know what, it was okay. *I* was okay. I knew, in the end, this all wouldn’t matter.

So I’m sitting here at my workdesk already impatient for the day to end. I’ve had this looming abdominal pain since last week that just sort of…comes and goes. I’ve been guessing the cause of the pain…UTI? no. Uterus? Perhaps. Stomach? Not sure of whether to see the doctor (they only give you painkillers anyway), I ended up cancelling my appt. with my doc last thursday because of second thoughts. Since the pain is still here, I figured I’ll go in today and see what they say…I really hope I would get a correct diagnosis and mostly a cure…sigh…I want to be healthy.

It’s just a simple line
I can still hear it all of the time
If i can just hold on tonight
I know that nothing
Nothing survives
Nothing survives
I think i’m turned around
I’m looking up
Not looking down
And when i’m standing still
Watching you run
Watching you fall
Fall into me
Am i making something worthwhile out of this place
Am i making something worthwhile out of this chase

I am displaced
I am displaced

Eating Meat Harms the Planet.

Global Warming
According to a recent United Nations report, the meat industry causes more global warming (through emissions of carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide) than all cars, trucks, SUVs, planes, and ships in the world combined.
Researchers at the University of Chicago determined that switching to a vegan diet is 50 percent more effective than switching from a regular car to a hybrid in reducing your impact on global warming.

Water Resources
More than half of all the water consumed in the U.S. is used to raise animals for food. A totally vegetarian diet requires 300 gallons of water per day, while a meat-based diet requires more than 4,000 gallons of water per day.

Pollution
Farmed animals produce about 130 times as much excrement as the entire human population of the United States. According to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the run-off from factory farms pollutes our rivers and lakes more than all other industrial sources combined.

(This information: Courtesy of PETA)

In addition to all of those listed above, there are other issues that come with the meat industry. Inefficiency, animal cruelty (you won’t believe how these animals are treated!!!), air pollution, land pollution, and not to mention all of the wasted resources. Fish, of course, is also applicable in this case. Our oceans are losing ecological balance because of the extreme consumption of seafood.

Do it for your health
You would get many, many health benefits from going vegetarian/vegan. Lower cholesterol, less fat, lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system. Less chance of developing coronary diseases, diabetes, and even some forms of cancer. Children who grow up on a vegan diet develop cognitive skills faster and are more athletic than those who don’t. You will get all necessary nutrients for your body without the saturated fat and cholesterol by sticking to a vegetarian/vegan diet. And, vegan restaurants are becoming increasingly popular as well as a larger number of  accessible vegan foods at your local market.

It’s difficult to change completely so quickly. My step one: ditch the red meat.

“If anyone wants to save the planet, all they have to do is just stop eating meat…It’s staggering when you think about it. Vegetarianism takes care of so many things in one shot: ecology, famine, cruelty.”

-Sir Paul McCartney

To learn more, go to http://www.goveg.com/

0 balance on all of my credit cards. Biatch!!!!

I need to decompress…What happened to all of that positive energy that I had a week ago? Ugh. I got tired, I guess. Tired of being really happy, although it felt damn good, almost like a high. Who cares if my boyfriend is moving to NY? Sigh. When I see the cardboard boxes in our room, a part of me wants to cry.

I want to support him, and I think I am. But sometimes a tiny bit of my selfishness comes over me, that little devil, and tells me I deserve more than what I’m receiving. That’s when I get sad.

I kind of feel like we’re in a different place in life. He’s so focused on becoming successful that he doesn’t seem to appreciate the other things in life that I do. Well, at least not now. I want a great career too. I want to make enough money so that money won’t become a refraining factor for me from experiencing…Life. That’s what I want, really. The freedom to be able to see the world, to enjoy the simple things. But I can’t blame him for wanting to work for a successful career. I don’t blame him, at all. In the end, I’m not able to give up my current job because it’s not the right time to leave. In that sense, my mentality is geared more torwards success as well. If I really prioritized all the other things in life, wouldn’t I just make this move with him?

Schedule starting July:
M-F work 9:30-5:30
M+W Yoga 6-7:30
Tu+Thur Pilates 12:30-1:30
Tu+Thur GMAT classes 7-10
Sat-Sun DECOMPRESS. Friend time, Shuli time, Jeannie time. Cardio.

All the while attending all work related events and completing all homework.

*Takes a deep breath in*

I can do this.

I was on yelp earlier today (yes, I’m a yelper ) and I saw a thread “Do you believe that global warming is a threat?”

…Well, that’s a very controversial topic. Many different people have many different opinions. Most people who know me already know my opinion on global warming. OF COURSE IT’S A THREAT. But that’s just me. Usually, when this topic comes up I voice my opinion, but only a little, because I’m tired of people who try to come up with rebuttles and justify themselves for not working to help the envionment.

Today, I took the opportunity to just let it out.

***

I recycle everything I can, even when it’s out of my way, walk when I can, do no unnecessary driving, take quick showers, never waste energy, clean with only baking soda and vinegar, buy recycled goods, don’t buy bottled water, don’t eat much meat, offset my carbon emissions and many more…

I’m concerned with how many people think that there are no scientific facts to back the truth about global warming. CO2, people. More CO2 = more trapped heat in the Earth’s atmosphere. What proof does anyone have about the earth’s warming being a “cycle?” Just because there was an ice age in the past, the warming of the earth makes this radical increase of the earth’s temperature a part of a cycle? Disregarding all the CO2 emissions and IT”s increase as a relating factor of this temperature change. Coming up with different excuses to *not* be good to the environment is completely selfish and narrow-minded, in my opinion. Mainly these people are just too self-centered to give a flying f*ck about the environment so that they don’t have to give up their comfortable lifestyle. The majority of cars still sold in the US today are still SUV’s and Hummers EVEN when there is overwhelming evidence about global warming and the threats it poses in the future. They think global warming is not their problem. “The future generations can worry about it.” They should know that global warming and the results of it are closing in by the minute, and millions of people living near the coasts may possibly lose their homes by the year 2050. And this might even happen earlier than this prediction (2050 was Al Gore’s prediction in year 2005 from “An Inconvenient Truth” -already 3 years ago). Not only is the rising ocean surface our problem, but more powerful storms, larger and more devastating natural disasters are happening all over the world ALREADY. The cause? Warming ocean temperature.

What makes me angry is that this all comes down to human nature. The good vs the evil. I apologize for simplifying it so much but in the end I only see one cause behind ignorant behavior. GREED. The oil industry, car companies want more money, so they took the electric car off the market. They’re terrified about the loss of profits they would experience if no one buys oil filters anymore, *gasp*!!!! They want more money, so they’re raising fuel prices as much as they can (but gradually) until they exhaust their resources and make a fortune for themselves. And now they want to do “off-shore drilling?” Really? REALLY? Why does it not occur to them to put that money into USING/RESEARCHING FOR CLEAN ENERGY, creating a working public transportation system in LA and working on getting off our addiction to cars. Our addiction to fuel.

I would be happier if we were all on the same page about solving this problem, instead of trying to convince others to understand that global warming is caused by humans. It’s difficult I know, but I think we can solve this problem. BUT ONLY IF WE ALL WORK AT IT.

***

Ahh…that felt good, and I’m happy to see there’s support in this conversation. One user replied with this following link to the video of Al Gore’s new speech. Thank you for this.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/al_gore_s_new_thinking_on_the_climate_crisis.html

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeYSkxQxcRM&hl=en]

“There are two kinds of love - one is a love that takes, the other a love that gives. Love that takes is a synonym for attachment, while love that gives is the opposite of egotism and selfishness. Wanting to catch someone and control them completely, as you would catch a bird and keep it in a cage, is a far cry from love that gives. No matter how much money or how many things you give someone, if your aim is to bind them to you, it is a love that takes. True love is selfless. It does not expect anything in return, but encourages another person to grow and develop. Love does not bind another but finds goodness within and sets him or her free.

You have probably observed that the nature of love that gives is like the sun that constantly gives us light and heat, expecting nothing of us in return. In fact, another name for love that gives is compassion. Compassion is the very essence of love that gives. Love that takes gives birth to a daughter called Jealousy, and a son called Self-Satisfaction. It does not give rise to happiness.”

-Ryuho Okawa

I just noticed at this moment, as much as I feel like I’ve accomplished so much (emotionally) lately, I still have so much more to go…

I guess that’s a good thing, to understand your weaknesses and to work on them. I don’t want to fall back into the comfort zone where I think it’s okay to be imperfect. At times, I think it’s okay to be. But I want to be someone with a big heart. Loving, caring, TRUSTING and accepting. No judgement. I want to make an effort everyday to become a better person. Can I do it? Maybe…I’ll just have to keep on trying.